I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
