So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize