So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
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I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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