so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
