Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
