I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
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