there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
