OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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