YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
