At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
