Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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