Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
