If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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