Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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