Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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