you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
