do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
