I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
