Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
