You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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