I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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