Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
one might say we're banned from that church
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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