in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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