Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
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