..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
