Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Houston, we have a blender
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
