So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
