Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
