that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
