She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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