Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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