..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize