At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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