we have pet lesbian snakes
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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