OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
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I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
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I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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