so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Buhtt sex?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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