i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize