I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
