i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
