i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize
