Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
