you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Randomize
