Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
