So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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