Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
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That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
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Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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