you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize