well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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