Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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