I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize