Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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