So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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