you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
