so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
