Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
