Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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