what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
