Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I didn't shave. On purpose
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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