More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
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