My nipple is on Facebook.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
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just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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