I can't watch pbs sober anymore
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
