and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
