Who wears a wallet chain?!
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
