...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
ugly people sure do ruin things
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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