So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
