This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
