am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
